


Profanity Palooza

by cablesscutie



Series: Imagine Steve Rogers Prompts [12]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: the Avengers are basically children
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-09
Updated: 2015-11-09
Packaged: 2018-04-30 20:39:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5178836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cablesscutie/pseuds/cablesscutie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Imagine Steve and the rest of the new team having a competition to see who can get Vision to swear first.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Profanity Palooza

“Whoever gets him to swear first wins, and you have to do it on base because we’re using the security system to verify. Everybody clear?, ” Steve asked. All around him, the new Avengers, sans Vision, nodded. “And FRIDAY, you’re in?”

“Yes, Captain,” the AI said. Steve felt a pang of loss when he didn’t hear JARVIS’s resigned tone that usually preceded an attempt to dissuade them from a particularly childish endeavor.

“Alright then. Let the games begin.”

Vision sat at the breakfast nook with a grapefruit and the Times crossword, brow furrowed. “Steven?” he asked.

“Yeah?” Steve asked, looking away from the eggs he was frying.

“I need a four-letter word for ‘hockey projectile’ that ends in u-c-k. Would you happen to know the answer?” Steve swallowed a grin and put on his best thoughtful expression.

“You know, it’s right on the tip of my tongue, but I don’t quite remember. Maybe if you try saying it with every letter of the alphabet, it’ll jog my memory.” Vision nodded, still concentrating on the paper.

“Hmm, yes maybe…Auck?”

He gets to “duck” before Clint strolled through with a bowl of cereal and looked over Vision’s shoulder.

“It’s a puck,” he mumbled around a mouthful of Lucky Charms.

“Ah, yes,” Vision mused, filling in the letter. “Thank you, Clinton.” Clint flashed Steve a smirk as he passes by.

“Mornin’, Cap.”

“Natasha!” Steve calls.

Wanda uses her magic to make him stub his toe on conjured objects.

Sam convinces him to root for the Mets.

Natasha tries video games.

Rhodey tells them all that they’re giving him a “Stark-ache” and to call him when there’s actual hero-ing to do, because he’s too old for this shit.

Three months and fifteen addendums to the rules later, what got him was when Thor and friends visited for Christmas. Vision picked up Mjolnir to move it off the coffee table and Darcy blurted out, “Holy shit, the pink dude picked up Muir-Muir!” Vision startled and dropped the hammer right on his foot and yelled,

“Shit!” Tony promptly clamped his hands over Steve’s ears and scolded,

“Vision, language!”


End file.
